A routine cash pickup turns into a deadly pursuit when two mismatched armored truck drivers are ambushed by ruthless criminals with plans beyond the cash.
Chuck says:
Over the years, I’ve mentioned the covenant regarding the suspension of disbelief that exists between the viewer and the filmmaker. It’s understood that movies exist outside reality, and each establishes their own set of rules. Because of this, the viewer accepts things that may not necessarily happen in real life but are forgiven for the sake of being entertained. Yet, if the director goes to the well too often, asking the audience to give credence to too many of these instances or one that’s simply too much to swallow, the spell is broken, our intelligence insulted thanks to these repeated narrative offenses.
Tim Story’s “The Pickup” is one of the most egregiously ridiculous films in recent memory and with the plethora of misguided features we’ve seen of late, that’s saying something. This would-be heist movie gets very little right – its story full of holes, the acting uninspired, the direction pedestrian. Yet, what makes it stand out for all the wrong reasons is the wanton stupidity it employs to keep the threadbare story afloat, instances that defy all logic, treating the viewer as the most gullible of saps.
Eddie Murphy stars as Russell Pierce, a veteran security guard for an armored car company on the verge of retirement. He hopes to open a bed-and-breakfast with his wife, Natalie (Eva Longoria) but lacks the gumption and the cash to pull the trigger. On the day of his 25th wedding anniversary, he’s paired with rookie Travis Stolley (Pete Davidson), a goofball who doesn’t take his job seriously and can’t stop talking about a long weekend with Zoe (Keke Palmer), who he met just days before.
The mismatched pair are assigned an absurdly long route and find themselves under siege when they reach their most remote point. Seems Zoe only hooked up with Stolley to get information about his job and with her two contentious partners, Banner (Jack Kesy) and Miguel (Ismael Cruz Cordova), she intends to rob the rolling safe.
So far, so bland. But once Pierce and Stolley hit the road, logic is just so much collateral damage in the pursuit of thrills. Writers Kevin Burrows and Matt Mider would have us believe there’s an 80-mile stretch of highway in New Jersey where no cellphone service is available. In addition, it seems to be completely deserted, not a car in sight for miles and miles and miles in either direction.
Apparently, this is a magical area as well, as horrific car crashes, ones in which the driver’s neck would be snapped many times over and compound fracture at every joint would occur, prove to be harmless. Characters walk away with nary a scratch after enduring such accidents. It’s an amazing thing…
Don’t get me started about the absurdity of Zoe’s reasons for orchestrating this caper or the ridiculous third act casino heist. These developments might be considered clever in a middle school writing class, but here, they simply don’t hold water.
Am I being nitpicky? Perhaps. Is my patience at an end where unimaginative, studio filmmaking is concerned? Absolutely.
Look, I don’t expect every movie I see to be a classic, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a film that costs millions of dollars and employs talented people to, at the very least, deliver a product where a modicum of imagination and effort are employed. “The Pickup” is a prime example of the sort of lazy filmmaking that’s become far too prevalent, indicative of an industry with the temerity to produce a poor product yet wonder why people continue to ignore it.
Zero Stars
