Once a lone bounty hunter, Mandalorian Din Djarin and his apprentice Grogu embark on an exciting new Star Wars adventure.
Chuck says:
I remember as a child, while playing with either my army men or action figures, the scenarios I would make up for them were pretty simple. A fight would take place and then a chase, followed by another fight with maybe the arrival of another figure and then another fight and…you get the picture. The mind of an 8-year-old isn’t attuned to plot intricacies or many variations at that age, but it didn’t matter. I had fun for about 20 -30 minutes before moving on to baseball or a stack of comic books.
I mention this because this was one of many things my mind turned to while watching the stunningly dull, “Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu.” The story, if you could call it that, is about as simplistic as the set-ups I put my toys through. This is one of the laziest films in recent memory, Disney betting the fans of the television show will flock to (they will) and have enough good will to give it a pass (we’ll see). Clocking in at over two hours, this is yet another bloated, seemingly endless, hamster wheel of a movie, one in which the repetition of its narrative beats becomes so familiar, it seems as if we’re standing still.
In the interest of full disclosure, I should state that I have not seen a single minute of the Disney program “The Mandalorian,” and it quickly becomes apparent that, if you’re in the same boat as I, it doesn’t matter. After a needless opening sequence that shows the titular bounty hunter (Pedro Pascal, maybe?) has the bona fides to dispatch bad guys and blow up stuff real good, we see him hired by Colonel Ward (Sigourney Weaver) of the New Republic. Seems she needs him to track down the kidnapped Rotta the Hutt (Jeremy Allen White), who needs to be rescued and returned to his aunt and uncle. Ward is hoping that in return for this good will gesture, they will reveal the whereabouts of an Imperial despot she needs to apprehend.
With Grogu, a Jedi lord in the making, in tow, the duo set out, encountering one mishap after another. Like so many studio manufactured movies, you can set your watch to the predictable beats that occur. Much like my action figures, Mando and Grogu get into a fight and then there’s a chase, and another fight and a chase, and, uh oh, a double cross, and a fight and a chase, ad nauseum. Perhaps the funniest thing about this entire production is that three people are listed as authors of the screenplay. I’m not one for employing A.I. to write scripts but I have no doubt it could have come up with something far more witty and inventive than what’s on display here.
Another scam is the participation of Pedro Pascal. I’m not sure what he was paid for this, but he is on screen for a total of six minutes. The rest of the time, Mando’s helmet is affixed to his head, it apparently being verboten for anyone to see his face. Though Pascal did have to participate in an elaborate fight sequence, this has to be the easiest staring gig in Hollywood history.
As we’ve come to expect from the franchise, the production values are good while the special effects remain top notch. There are some amusing moments throughout, notably from Martin Scorsese who provides the voice of a put-upon, four-armed, short order cook and a quartet of tiny mush-mouthed aliens who aide Grogu. As for the glorified hand puppet, he provides the cute moments he’s become famous for, eating everything that doesn’t eat him, his amusing grunts and squeaks conveying multitudes to those in the know.
Granted, I’m not looking for something with narrative heft where a “Star Wars” film is concerned, but there was a time when the subtext in some of the entries held some weight. That’s certainly not the case with “Grogu,” a film that exists solely to push the “Star Wars” brand and is pitched towards the kids in the audience. They still possess a sense of wonder where the mythos of the franchise is concerned and could care less about lazy storytelling. There are times, I wish I were my 8-year-old self again, so I can enjoy a movie as simple and redundant as this.
2 Stars
